Life is a full on game!

I went to Bhajans last night, for the first time in ages...

It was definitely what the doctor ordered, given my life of late...

I tend to operate on the philosophy: "Don't rush me, I like to make a decision at the last minute!"

Well, it works, sometimes...

But of late, life has been busy, and pressing...

I have heaps of stuff orbiting around the central nature of who I am. Elements that call me, siren like, to give them attention. One of the key challenges that I face in the moment is doing what needs to be done.

Of course, this is all a little ironic, given that I am a counsellor. That's the advice that I tend to give most people. Whilst I must admit that I hear those words loud and clear each and every time I utter them to another (uncomfortably so), there is that part of me that would like to just retreat to a Himalayan cave and sit in solitude. Let life pass me by...

Now, I know, that's not the way it works. But its about finding that balance between the spiritual and the mundane that is a trial for me. Running away to a cave is still running away.

On my last trip to India, the big question was to discover if a life as a Swami was for me. It is very alluring. When you cut yourself off from all the 'distractions' of life, and are able to devote your life entirely to your Sadhana, it has been my experience that it is a totally different ball game.

You go from simply studying your path, to living it. And with that comes the realisation that you always were living it.

There never has been, is not currently, and can never be, any separation between the self and the Self... But, I digress...

It was early one morning when I got an answer to my question. I had missed Omkar, so I had left the ashram, and gone to sit under the Meditation Tree. The question rolled endlessly in my unsettled mind as I walked past the beggars on the path up to the Tree. "What is the direction of my life? Should I take up robes?"

I settled myself, and 'assumed the position'. But, Peace did not come to me. The mind just did not want to come home. That just took my frustration over my question (which was incessant now) and escalated it. All I wanted was to sit in silence for a while, and to rest my chattering mind! Was that too much to ask?

After a time, I opened my eyes, and stood up. The town was waking, and the sound of it was distracting me even more. I decided that I would leave meditating for now, as it was having a reverse effect on me.

I gathered my meditation mat, dusted myself off, and started back down the path to either the ashram, or the town... I needed a chai...

Strangely, the beggars had left the path, leaving me able to enjoy the view as the town and the rooftops of the ashram as they came into view as I made my way back down the hill. It was only February, and it was already set to be a warm south Indian day.

As I progressed down the hill, still sort of hazy from my attempt at meditation, I noticed the many signs that highlighted the edge of the path. Each sign had a unique phrase, a piece of timeless wisdom. The signs passed by as made my way, each one a little blurry and indistinct.

I rounded a corner, not far from where the short road connecting the path from the Tree to the town was. A sign by the side of the path caught my eye. It sort of stood out in a way, almost shimmering...

From where I was I could clearly see that the sign harboured it's words of wisdom on the other side. I would have walked straight past it on the way up, taking no notice. As I got closer to the sign, my interest grew. When I reached it, and read it, the whole morning made sense... The sign said:

"Head in the forest. Hands in society."

At once, there was peace within me... The answer couldn't have been clearer if God himself had sat me on my lap and said "Now Russ, about this becoming a monk thing..."

At Bhujans last night, I reflected upon that experience. Sitting amongst our small group always takes me back to the darshan hall - effortlessly. At once, I could feel the cool marble beneath my crossed legs, and hear again a few thousand voices united in Love and prayer, straining our necks for just a single glance of the Prema Swaroopa.

"Life is a game... play it!"

Last night came with the realisation that I had indeed run away to a mountain cave in my recent life. Not that life has not been challenging, but, "Life is a challenge, meet it!" Perhaps I need to rethink the whole "don't rush me..." attitude... The challenges of my life are the challenges of MY life. Last night, I realised that my head had no more been in the forest than my hands had been in society...

In my role as counsellor, I realise that everyone is susceptible to emotional stress. There have been a great many wonderful changes in my life of late, as well as some enduring icky moments that seemingly just wont end. Some stuff that I really would rather not have to deal with. Of course, that doesn't mean that I can't deal with them, in fact, it is my duty to deal with them.

"The world is a training ground. A place for you to practice Dharma and dispense your duties with compassion. That is the only value it has..."

That opportunity exists in each and every moment.

How true those words are...

Stay well.

Russ